As You Wish

Don't you wish that you could have a special phrase like they do in the movies? 

From The Princess Bride

Grandpa: [voiceover] Nothing gave Buttercup as much pleasure as ordering Westley around.
Buttercup: Farm boy, polish my horse's saddle. I want to see my face shining in it by morning.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [voiceover] "As you wish" was all he ever said to her.
Buttercup: Farm boy, fill these with water - please.
Westley: As you wish.
Grandpa: [voiceover] That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying "As you wish", what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back.

Dad with Sister Bear 2004 -One yearr after Transplant

Sometimes saying the obvious seems too obvious.   I love that Westly didn't just say I love you but As you wish.  Sometimes saying the obvious just doesn't get the point across.

My first pregnancy 2000, I was HUGE and Dad's belly was the same size as mine

Yes, there was a reason we called him DOUGHBOY!

Dad with Brother Bear -2004

It's been a long couple of days with my dad.  Does he want to continue to fight or doesn't he?  Does he have that last bit of physical strength to fight?  Can he survive physical rehab?

Dad holding Sister Bear when she was days old 2000

I let the kids call him yesterday and I just wanted to cry.  I put the phone on speaker so I could hear the conversation and assist when the kids needed me to (plus I love hearing them talk to their Papa) and Dad just wasn't into the conversation.  They were rattling on about their day and what they have been doing for the last few weeks since they last saw him.  He totally wasn't into the conversation.  They were telling him about what they wanted to do the next time they have a slumber party at Papa's.  I could tell he was about ready to fall asleep.  (He had just taken some anxiety meds that make you drousy) and my heart was breaking because these kids are the reason he has struggled to keep living. 

I know, I know...the meds had kicked in but still...he had the Bears on t the phone after all that time.

and we called him Doughboy (2004)

I took control of the phone and told Dad that we would call him again the next day.  I told him to get his rest and let the meds mask the pain and suffering he's feeling.  As you wish...

I think he's sick of hearing us tell him that we love him and that we want him to be strong.  I think the plain words that we say with all our heart have started to lose their meaning with him as he sits in his hospital bed and ponders the hard decision of living and dying.

I wish I could say, "As you wish" and he would know what I was talking about because I love him and the family loves him...I wish it could be so simple.

Well, today my Aunt Linda and Aunt Janet went to visit Dad.  They took a deck of cards and decided that he would play pinochle.  Aunt Linda has a way with him that I can't duplicate.  She came in and said, "Wake up, WE ARE playing cards!" and he did.  From what she said he enjoyed himself too.  Aunt Janet would shuffle the cards for him but they made him pass out the cards on his turn and he did all the calculations.  They got him to use his brain and hands.  It was a mild form of exercise but it was movement none-the-less and he stayed awake the whole time they were there.

Maybe it was all the years that he, as big brother, picked on his younger sisters that got him to listen while they led the games but whatever it was, it worked.  I am so thankful that Aunt Linda has come home to Michigan to help Dad with his decision.  She said she did not come home to bury her brother, she came home to help him live and I love her for it.

Aunt Linda, Aunt Janet and Dad...sometime in the late 1950's

So whether it be a simple I love you or As you wish...it worked.

For now, it appears, that Dad will attempt rehab and wait on hospice.  Whatever his decision, I will support him and be there with him but I would like to think he'd want to fight a bit longer but I also remember he's been fighting my whole life and just might not have anymore fight in him.

So each day will now be a guessing game as we watch and see what decisions HE will make regarding his life and how PT and OT wear on what little physical strength he has.

I will keep you updated and as soon as I know where Henry Ford will move him, I will let you know.

As you wish...